On another planet…

I found out some very sad news this week, that friend from Australia’s mum had died. I felt for her and my heart broke from this side of the world. I grew up with S and both her and her family are a prominent feature of my childhood. Since moving over here, we haven’t had much contact, except on birthdays and the odd comment or photo on FB or the rare occasion when we have travelled.

She changed her profile photo, with no status update or any comments, but it was enough for me to guess that something wasn’t as it should be.  This made me think of how far away all those people I love are and how we should appreciate the people we have in our lives. It also strangely made me think of what had happened to all the people I went to school with. Where are they? What are they doing?

I missed our 10 year reunion, as I was over here, so don’t really know. I didn’t really friend that many people on FB that I wasn’t friends with when in high school. Perhaps that makes me a snob…. I think that just stops people from being nosey too easily. We have enough shared friends to be able to get the general idea of what is going on. And by doing just that it would seem I am living on another planet.

The planet from which I came, people have around 3 children and husbands (I went to an all girl school). Out of those that I bothered to check, very few do not (2 don’t, one is engaged and the other is unknown). Some even have children that are about 13! Most of these people are in and around the same place where I grew up, and I am happy for them. Not so happy for my mum, who has to field the questions of what is Amanda doing. Goodness knows how she answers that, since I don’t know the answer and I’m doing it!

However there is one thing that I have realised. I fear commitment. Not the relationship sort. But the sort that locks you in for life. The sort that makes you make a decision on where you HAVE to be. I thought I was growing up when I thought that I could handle owning a dog. However I didn’t make any real effort to change my circumstance to allow me to get a dog. It was more a mental game that I played with myself. So I feel that I am taking big steps in moving in with Swing Boy. Not because we will be living each other and playing house, not even because I have ideas that we will be living in this house for at least 2 years. It is because we are looking at buying furniture! Not crappy throw it together furniture…. But actual furniture.

I am pretty sure my brain is broken….